Dearest Proteas,
How do you deal with people who gossip about you?
Be direct. If you have the opportunity to speak to them, be assertive. Ask them to stop. If you cannot stop them, own your story and ignore them. Some people may decide to gossip for self-interest. They may gossip about you for others to feel sorry for them (pity them). They may gossip about you for others to feel hatred toward you (support them). You may never understand why certain people gossip about you. But, if you must confront them, be assertive, not aggressive.
How do you know if you're being assertive or aggressive?
Find your voice. Make sure you know the difference between these two. The difference between aggressive and assertive communication is that aggressiveness includes screaming, cursing, pushing, and hitting and is often a sign of losing control of your emotions. In comparison, assertiveness includes clear, direct, and honest communication and is often a sign of having control of your feelings. Understanding the difference will help you handle difficult situations confidently.
What if other people confuse assertiveness with aggression?
Know yourself. Regardless of how you approach the situation, some may perceive you as an aggressive person. Some people will find you aggressive without ever having any communication with you. They may base their perception on your looks. Therefore, you must know yourself. Know when you're being aggressive. Ask yourself: (1) What is the evidence that I am an aggressive person? (2) Is the person trying to gaslight or hijack the situation by making me think I am aggressive? (3) Do I have the evidence to support my need to be assertive?
How do you support others who are being assertive?
Do what's right, regardless of the sameness or differences between you and the other person. Take the time to understand why the other person is being assertive. Ask yourself, does this person need my support in this situation or environment? How could I ensure that the needs of this person are met? Don't be a bystander by ignoring the needs of those who express their needs assertively.
With an Open Heart,
-Proteawell
Disclaimer: This blog is for informational and educational purposes only. It does not constitute medical or legal advice. We are not responsible for any damages resulting from or related to your use of this information.
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