Is not belonging a bad thing?
No, it is not. Sometimes not belonging is a good thing. Sometimes a person or group may not like you for your appearance, personality, or worldview, among other reasons. They may negatively perceive you due to historical events or past experiences. You can try to do everything possible to belong and still not belong. Other times, you may feel that the person or environment is not a good fit for you. These feelings can be due to being in a toxic environment (constant gossiping and hypocrisies). The point is, sometimes you may be disliked by others, and other times, you may dislike others. So not belonging is not always a bad thing.
How do you handle not belonging?
Embrace it. The more you try to convince people to accept you, the more difficult it becomes. If you don't belong, you don't belong. Don't focus on changing how those people perceive you. Because if you do, you may waste your precious time and effort. Embrace the fact that not everyone is going to like you. Focus on what you can control: What could I learn from this situation? What would I do differently? Forgive those people and accept that regardless of your efforts, people may not change how they perceive you. Most importantly, no matter what you do, don't force connections with people at the expense of your well-being.
What if I have to deal with that person or group?
Sometimes you cannot avoid it. You can decide how much time you want to invest. You can attend specific meetings or gatherings. You can limit your time. You can also determine with whom you want to interact during those meetings/gatherings. Other times step outside of the box and become the observer. Ask yourself, is this really about me? Or is it related to the person's or group's upbringing, past events, or lack of awareness? Sometimes making the issue about them and not about you helps. Furthermore, if you have to remain in an environment where you feel you don't belong, find your purpose. Ask yourself, what am I willing to sacrifice, and is it worth it?
Finding your community is more important than forcing belongingness.
Build your community. Finding people with whom you share commonalities and differences is essential. You can learn from them, and they can learn from you. Additionally, finding a healthy environment is vital. A place where you belong has people who provide clear communication, ask for forgiveness for wrongdoings, use your strengths for the better, and offer constructive feedback for improvement. In all, having relationships with people that are reciprocal of mutual respect and understanding are necessary for your well-being.
With an open heart,
-Proteawell
Disclaimer: This blog is for informational and educational purposes only. It does not constitute medical or legal advice. We are not responsible for any damages resulting from or related to your use of this information.
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